Tuesday 16 July 2002 // 1305 EDT

Seeing: A G4 tower and Apple Studio Display

Hearing: Kylie Minogue -- Love At First Sight

Touching: An Apple ProMouse...soon to be replaced

Tasting: Homemade brownies

Thinking:

I can't complain, I suppose.
I mean, I have this g4 tower, and even if I'm only going to have it for a few days, it's pretty damned nice....probably a sight better than the eMac that's coming in for me in a few days, but anyway...in the meantime we've managed to procure a SNES emulator for Macintosh that I use very frequenly in my free time.

I was playing the DragonBall Z games earlier, tons of fun...wish I had an SNES controller for this thing, it'd probably make the whole game playing thing a little easier-the keyboard is pretty much a pain in the ass sometimes. But there are a ton of games and lots of free time, so we'll see how that works out. In the meantime, I do other things to keep myself busy when I'm not on a call...but the calls come in nicely enough, so it's not horrible...the time passes pretty quickly here, and I like that.

I'm also really impressed with all the ins and outs of Mac OS X...since it's built right on top of a Unix client, there's a built in telnet client, port scanner, the works...makes it real easy to hack from a macintosh, heh. Good stuff. So I have plenty to amuse myself with in the meantime. I'm sitting here now in the built-in telnet client updating, and I didn't even have to install any third-party software...unfortunately no-one's coded a decent IRC client for macintosh yet, regardless of the OS, and there's nothing that's native to OS X. Bleh. I'm talking shop again, I should probably stop.

On to more interesting things. The house is....something. This morning I woke up and went upstairs to the bathroom to shower and shave and all, and I realized, to my happiness, that there was no dog shit outside the bathroom door, but down by Rob's desk the cat had happily thrown up all over the floor....kind of solidified my resolve to find another place to live sometime in the near future...someplace with only one bedroom. Anyways, it was a quiet morning, the kind I like, when I'm the only one awake, so I can get up and shower and get ready and leave with noone up to bother me or get in my way save the animals, and even they annoy me often enough, as you might have picked up. Katie said she'd give me a hand with looking for a new apartment if I needed someone to come with me, and I'll probably take her up on that, since I won't want to go all by myself. Something extra to do in my free time to keep me busy. Besides, I need something to do while I'm sitting here at work doing nothing. Thank goodness I found a job though, it feels so much better to actually have a job and be making money and to be self-sufficient-I don't have to sit and be afraid of the letters that the bank sends to my house telling me I'm overdrawn, or afraid that I won't be able to pay for gas to get from place to place when I need to, or that my debt is running up and I'm totally broke..you feel like a real human being when you have a job and not a freeloader or anything, or begging people for money, or living off my parents. I'm really happy I'm on my own, even if my mom and dad keep telling me they'll lend me a hand if I need it. It's refreshing.

I think I'm going to stop back by Food Lion and grab some more apples...they're really good breakfast when you're on the run in the morning.

Sorry, got off topic there. Anyways, I need to get down to business redesigning the EDMC Website, right now it's just the Art Attack page, but I want to turn it into a fully functional resource for all of College Park's EDM needs..I just need the time to do it. Maybe I'll get a good start this weekend or something, I have to dig up the site plan I put together a few months ago. Once I finish that, I think Novawerks is due for an overhaul. I might even want to find some hosting to take advantage of some other features, get an @novawerks.net address or something like that...what do you guys think? It'd be cool, right?

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, about the decisions I've made in the past and the things I've done, the people I've been with and the times I've had, and all in all, I don't really regret anything-I don't dislike anyone, noone really did anything so horrible to me that it made them a bad person, but I do think that all of us get caught up in doing things and saying things that protect ourselves so well that we forget how we alienate others....I'm totally guilty of this too, so don't think this is just some disguised letter to my exgirlfriends, but to some extent, I think it's true in general of people in relationships...and when you can look past that self-protection, that self-determination, and start to see things in the context of the TWO of you, see things as how they effect you two as a couple, then you start to become mature, and aware of exactly what a relationship can bring. I have to admit, Katie has probably had the most patience with me in this regard, otherwise we wouldn't be together again, even after that two year stint a few years back, but things are doing pretty well between us and I'm retardedly happy that we're together and doing well. How things turn out? Who knows, tomorrow isn't promised so there's no reason you should expect your relationship to be also, but all in all you should allow yourself to be happy....I think about some of the other people I've been with, and sometimes I miss them, but I realize that things happen for a reason, and if our ways parted it's probably because they had to, and who knows, maybe things will be different down the line, but I wish everyone the best and brightest...the way I'm going about my life. I'm looking for the best and brightest in my future and I'm not taking any less, and I hope that all the ones I've loved before, friends, lovers, and family, do exactly the same.

Finally. I'm getting around to making a real life for myself-getting around to doing my own thing. It's about damned time.