Friday 21 June 2001 // 1337 EST

Seeing: Macross Plus

Hearing:Coast 2 Coast feat. Discovery -- Home

Touching: Tupperware dishes full of leftovers

Tasting: Cold tapwater

Thinking:
I think that last Balance bar isn't sitting too well on my stomach.
I long for the warm, cozy nights that are just made for standing in line for a party, you know, when you're standing with a bunch of people you know and you're all itching to get inside and start dancing and you want to hear the music surround you because you can just barely feel the bass outside the club...or better yet, driving to the party in the middle of the night, eager to get there and have a good time..the wind rushing around the inside of the cabin, blowing through my hair, barely listening to the radio and instead hearing in your head the echoes of the music that you'll be enveloped in shortly...those wonderful sounds...and you're dreaming in a dream within a dream, in a completely other world, waiting, anticipating, those moments when the music is all around you and you know you can't escape and you don't want to anyway, when you're all hot because you've been dancing, the music is under your skin and in your brain, it's all through you, you feel like it's filling the air and you're not really dancing so much as you're moving your body through the spaces that the music leaves for you to move through...it's such a moving experience. I miss it, I haven't been dancing, I mean really dancing in such a long time....maybe this weekend...I'm foam partying friday. I miss dancing...I really really do. I'll get out eventually.

So I've been sitting around not doing much of anything, to be honest, I miss going out and having a good time like I used to, I suppose part of it is being utterly broke, but we'll see about that tomorrow...I'm looking forward to having a little bit of money to do even something mundane like drive through wendys and get a bacon cheeseburger. Okay, enough talk of food, I'll stop talking about it now. I think I'm going to go home a little early today, I don't feel like taking that peer training class on Powerpoint, if it's really as basic as the website says it is, then I already know everything about it. Oh well....hard to find good, interesting peer training classes these days. So what will I do instead? Probably go home, chat on IRC and play some counterstrike. I don't really have the money yet to do anything else, to be honest, but we'll see what happens tomorrow morning. :)

I'd like to take a little time out to say something important. I love Girl. She's probably the most important person in my life right now, always there for me, always willing to talk to me, always around when I need her and always trying so hard to make herself a constant in my life when I'm so used to there never being...always trying to make it implied, make it given, make it just KNOWN that she loves me....and even in smaller things, like that when she's home she wants me to come over or spend time with her and such...those things are GIVEN with her, and it's such a wierd thing for me...I'm so used to now knowing anything unless I'm told..I'm so used to being loved one day and not the next that if noone tells me I'm afraid it's happened..I'm so used to being unsure of everything. But she's not like that....yeah, a voice in the back of my head says "sure, not NOW," because of, well, my natural distrust of people, I suppose...but I just figured that here was as any good place to say that I love her and that she means the world to me, and no matter what has happened or what may happen, right here, right now, I really do feel this way...and I really hope that this emotion is never tainted by time or mishap. if you want, you should email her and tell her how awesome I am. Or tell her how much you wish you had a girlfriend like her...::smile:: I'm so lucky...sometimes it just eclipses everything else going on in my life. Like now..

Need a CD player for my car. This Gatecrasher 2 disc set is growing on me. I really need to find a cheap way to get decent tunes in my car, the radio just isn't cuttin it anymore, to be honest...I mean, HFS will do, but sometimes I want to jam to my favorite grooves if I have to muddle home in rush hour traffic, you know? Hey, it's thursday, maybe I should try and hit up the state surplus store...or maybe I should save my money. Heh...i think when I get home, I'll make an effort to get around to selling my ZIP drive and my Handspring Visor on eBay...maybe I can get some cash for them, considering they're in good condition and whatnot, besides, if I can get what I want for them, then I can buy a Visor Edge, which is kind of what I really want, but maybe even make a tidy profit for it in the process. :) You never know. Hey, if you're interested in buying either, drop me a line and we'll do business. Well well. I'm about done here. I suppose this is a little short, but sometimes short is sweet, so I won't say much else. Heh...I'll probably have a lot to say after the weekend anyway..look for a massive update from me on Monday, which to be honest, right now feels like it's SO far away...and that makes me REALLY happy.