Tuesday 10 July 2001 // 1218 EST

Seeing: Blue skies and puffy clouds

Hearing: Orbital -- Belfast

Touching: A green frog bead I found in my car

Tasting: Fishcakes

The drive to werk is always interesting. I mean, every day some new person proves their idiocy by almost getting themselves or someone else killed. Sometimes on the way home on the highway, when it's really crowded and packed with cars, I watch and see people weaving in and out of traffice like it's sitting still, like they're invincible...sometimes I wish I were a police officer in an unmarked car or something, so I could throw on some lights and pull them over and curse them out for being such idiots-because if they got into an accident, I know for sure that it's always fools like them who manage to survive after killing someone else. I really hope I have the fortune never to be in a major car accident again-I mean, the last one I was in was with Tim in his Mazda when he totaled it, and that wasn't fun at all, thank god I came away with it intact and with only a seatbelt bruise to mark the experience, but I really don't want to get into any high-speed accidents. People say I drive dangerously sometimes, and I imagine that I do drive fast and sometimes take risks, but to be honest, I don't think I'm that bad-hell, I might change lanes a lot or drive quickly, but at least I SIGNAL my lane changes before I make them...I could be peeling around at 80 mph and make a lane change, but you know I'll be making it because I signal it. ::grin::

Anyway, the past few days have been kind of confusing, I've been thinking a lot about things I don't really want to think about to be honest, and it's been kind of depressing in a lot of ways. I mean, I really wish I could just clear my head and not have these things to worry about, but in a lot of ways I can't, but eh, it's nothing that'll stop me from being happy and having a good time. Heh, here we go again, but I just kind of wish I had some spare cash so I could go dance and have a good time and forget everything, that's how music and dancing is for me, so it'd be nice. But alas, no dancing for me for a while, I'm very broke. I'll just look at the lineup for Buzz for the next couple of weeks and drool, in that case..unless any of you hear about an decent free parties coming up, if you do, let me know. I'd be all about going out. Anyway, what can I say? I'm tired, underworked and underpaid, I do wish I made a little more money at werk, but it's good money so I can't complain too much, and the hours are nice, so I can't complain about that either. Well, actually, I can complain about anything I want to, but complaining isn't going to do much good except make me feel better about things. I woke up this morning and stumbled to the bathroom to shower and shave and get ready for the day and whatnot, and I wound up hitting both arms on different doorframes on the way to the bathroom, which is quite an amazing feat considering there are only two doorframes on the way. It was a pain in the butt, but I think the shower made it all better. I love showering, it's probably the best part of the morning, especially when I don't have to shower by myself. To be honest, I don't think I've taken so many showers with other people since I've been with Girl, it kind of makes me happy-up until that point I had only done it twice, and since then I've lost count. Heh-ironically enough there were a lot of other sentimental things I used to do that with Girl I've lost count of, but I'll keep that to myself for your sake and mine.

Played The Opera last night, a half-life mod, similar to Counterstrike, but Opera was just released yesterday-it's fun in some ways, and it has a lot of possibilities, maybe I just need to play it a little more, I think I'll give it a shot, but to be honest, it's kind of lacking...I mean, I was looking forward to downloading and trying it as soon as I heard about how it was finished and whatnot, but I found that as much as the authors wanted it to be about flare and about style, it's more or less "how many bullets can i pump into this guy while staying ducked or something equally stupid before he dies?" I'll probably wind up playing a bit more, but it has a rugged, unfinished feel to it, that and it's hard to deal with the sudden drop in framerate when you go from spectating to actually playing. I suppose I would prefer to get familiar with the controls and whatnot first, get a better feel for the game before going in and getting my ass beat by someone who's been playing for all of the day it's been ready, but we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll give it another shot tonight, see how it goes and see if diving and cartwheeling and whatnot is actually worthwhile. It might be, it might not. We'll see. Anyway, while some of my friends immediately dismissed the game as being a complete and utter piece of crap and I'm pretty inclined to do the same, I do suggest you at least give it a shot if you're looking for something new to play. Be warned however, it's nothing like counterstrike, it has a completely different feel to it. I'm waiting for patches to speed it up, tweak this, make that better, etc...we'll see.

In the meantime, I'll just play lots more cs. I think I'm getting admin on the servers that I play on today, so trust me, playing will be a LOT more fun. On top of it all, if the supervisor that I werk with(the particularly useless one) comes back soon, I'll go home early and take a nap. I have to give Girl some money today because she and I and some kids are hopefully going to King's Dominion next week about this time, and it should be a lot of fun. It'll be nice to get away and ride some more roller coasters and water rides and drink lemonade and eat funnel cake and relax...I think it'd be fun. That and I think it'd be nice to get away for a little while. I mean, honestly, werk isn't all that bad, and my social life is very good right now, it's just nice to get away from it all, I mean come on, it is the summer, after all. And what's the summer for but relaxing?

Okay, of all the thigns I really want to do, I've been meaning to get started on those essays and stories and whatnot I said I was going to write...I was going to compile them all into different categories, like my dissertations about the scene and electronic music and the people involved and everything, I was gonna call the collection "Starlight Phoenix" and it would be all about the person I was when the sun went down...and everything else would be collected somewhere else...but when I get to werk, I never have the energy to get started, and by the time I get home I'm too tired to actually do anything. Speaking of things I want to do this summer, I've been meaning to spend more time downtown, you know, places like dupont circle and georgetown, record stores and amusing places to eat, like that Vietnamese restaurant that eMily found that one time we were wandering around down there hanging out with some people...wow that place was yummy. That and I want to get to a beach. I miss the water, I really think I should get around to spending some time on the water somewhere...take some pictures, enjoy life, you know...spend some more time relaxing until I don't have time to do it anymore, mainly when the semester starts again. Maybe if I pay off my credit card, I'll even have some money to have fun with. ;)

By the way, if anyone wants to make a donation to the Alan Fund, Email me! Hey, I can give you a reciept, that means it's tax deductible, right?