Monday 14 October 2002 // 1700 EDT

Seeing: Wet curls, a halo around her face

Hearing: Cindy Morgan - Stars

Touching: New Mossimo Sweaters..yay for Target!

Tasting: Chocolate Truffle


It's so strange how things turn about, how things happen, what the coincidences mean, and how we see everything as it's happening.

I suppose it's confessional time.

I've been spending a lot of time just relaxing, absorbing, recharging, trying to find a way to make things a bit easier, to make living life a bit better, trying to make things better for myself and the people I love. I know it sounds trite, but it's been pretty difficult. I've been making such positive strides in my life and I'm so thrilled about them all that I can hardly contain myself. I've been working out three days a week after werk, I've been dressing up for werk every day, not that I HAVE to, but because I want to look a bit more presentable, a bit more professional, a bit smoother and sleeker. I want to feel better about everything, because I have so much to feel good about. I try not to really wear my casual clothes to werk anymore, the tatters and the t-shirts, unless I have to, like I run out of clothes to wear literally. I bought a ton of new boxers specifically so I didn't have to resort to the small ones that I gave up to goodwill, along with some old clothing; I'm building my winter wardrobe with some spare income...I've been taking care of my poor little car, cleaning up the house, you know, doing things I need to do, playing a few games in the meantime, and most importantly spending time with Natalie.

That's got to be the wierdest thing in the world...for a while before she and I got kind of serious and after Katie and I had our non-existant falling out(which pretty much comprised of us breaking up the same way we always break up, she dyes her hair, goes to the beach, comes back and never speaks to me again, and most likely has found someone else to fuck, which is fine with me to be honest, because it spares her what I would tell her if she had spoken to me, especially this time around) I kept chastising myself for moving backwards with all the people I dated; Christina was a step back to the past, as was dating Katie again, although it was probably a bad idea in the first place(not to say it wasn't a lot of fun, it was there for a while), but now with Natalie it's almost like I'm stepping back into the past again but this time it's's like I didn't have any false expectations, it's like I wasn't looking for some kind of memory, it's like I didn't expect something to be different than it used to be, it's fresh and new and refreshing and different, and I have to appreciate that...I do appreciate that. It's actually really impressive. I can sit here and sing her praises; she's smart and sassy, sexy and pretty, intelligent and mature, chill but exciting, fun and...well...we're on the same page, think along the same lines...all this time I've been complaining that I needed to stop dating fucked up chicks, that I needed to date someone more like me, more on my level, I think I might have found someone at last. I'm not being all wierd or anything, but I really appreciate the fact that I can date someone that I feel is on the same level as me; and it's amazing when you get down to it...okay, I'll stop singing her praises now...I'll stop going on about how happy this situation makes me...but it really is wonderful, and I'm the happiest I've been in a VERY long time. Be happy for me, she's a wonderful chica, and I'm making some wonderful changes.

Aside from all of that, it's about 6PM, so I think I'm going to go work out. I'm going to go see Nat in a while, so don't be surprised if I pick this up later.

2012 EDT; Just out of the gym and sitting in a WAMlab with Nat.

Funny that. I wanted to finish the update so badly but at the same time I wanted to spend some time with her..I'm so tired I could go home and sleep if I had the opportunity, and something tells me that I probably will. I really need to catch up on sleep. I'm hungry at the same time, and eventually I need to cook the pork cutlets I have in the fridge at home...dunno if I'll have the energy for it tonight though. We'll have to see what happens.