Saturday 16 March 2002 // 0507 EST

Seeing: Katie's room...clean?

Hearing: DJ Shadow -- You Can't Go Home Again

Touching: beautiful weather outside

Tasting: Honey Nut Chex!

Thinking:
I just don't know what to say sometimes...last night was more than amusing, watching one of my friends be utterly harrassed by someone she had just met and was twice her age...at least she's a big girl and knows how to handle herself-I was actually really amused and very proud at the way she did. Then watching another friend be probably the sluttiest I've ever seen anyone act in my entire life, especially towards someone she complains and bitches about all the time, and towards the guy she ditched a perfectly wonderful, impressive, admirable, handsome guy for, one who was treating her like a princess, for this guy that treats her pretty badly...it was actually one of the saddest, most pathetic things I've ever seen in my entire life..I mean really sad. It kind of changed my opinion about her, a lot...even though the guy isn't that bad, he seemed like an allright guy, a guy's guy, and of course it's up to her to decide who she throws herself at, but to be totally honest, from a guy's perspective, when a woman throws herself at you, even if you're not interested and she's attractive, it's hard to always say no and keep away from her, especially if you'd like to be friends-and it's hard for a guy to tell a woman no, especially if he's the kind of guy who doesn't mind having a woman in his back pocket in case of emergencies, and if she's the kind of girl who's completely willing to throw herself at him...ugh. Although I can't justify that kind of mindset, I can't deny it either. It's kind of the same with the woman in question-she's wearing what my Human Sexuality professor calls the "Sophomore Backpack," as in that she's wearing her virginity like a backpack and needs to get it off-and isn't too discriminating in how she does it. Between her, the dude she was slutting all over, the other drunken guy hitting on the girl half his age, the poor girl and the way she dealt, and then having to sit there through the whole thing, it was a very draining evening...I was horribly tempted to sleep at Katie's place last night because it was there and her room was clean and there was plenty of space, but I wound up driving home anyway, thinking that I'd get up for my radio show and meeting with my professor later that afternoon, and maybe even some DJ training with Dave after that.

Well, that didn't happen. I wound up sleeping straight through my radio show, only having enough energy to get up and turn my alarm off when it went off, trying to remind me that I had a radio show to do in the first place, and only enough energy to send my professor an email saying that I wouldn't make it...I was so tired, it took me three tries to get the email out. I slept pretty much all afternoon, and much of the evening, and I still don't totally know why I was so tired...I don't think it was that I was horribly tired, like I had been very physically active, but that I was so drained...I don't even remember the drive home, to tell you the truth.

In any case, here I am now, it's like 530AM and I thought I might be going out tonight, but that didn't happen so much. I don't really mind, I suppose I should be happy that I managed to save the money and all. I have enough for half of my turntables, and there's more on the way, which is encouraging, and I don't have to break the bank on them, although I have to admit, it's kind of hard considering the fact that with all of this money, I kind of feel as though I should be paying off my credit card debt rather than buying DJ equipment. I kind of shrug off the notion, however, I suppose I just wanted to note it for future reference, and all in all, I suppose that if I'm ever super-pressed for money, I can always sell the turntables back to a music store or something. In the end, I think I can handle myself. Still waiting on my federal tax return, which will hopefully be a good chunk of money. We'll see. I have so many plans for the monies that I make, it's hard to discern sometimes...buy tables, buy some new clothes, pay off my debt, save for a new car, invest, on and on and on...

Anyway, we'll see what happens, I suppose. In the meantime, I have other things to worry about: mainly sending Andrea a letter and a little gift saying that I won't be able to make it for her wedding over spring break, since airfare is so much money and it's gonna be a pain in the ass to travel and so much money to boot. Katie was going to come with me just for the hell of it, since it would make a good spring break and since she knows Andrea also, but neither of us really have the money. We'll probably do something else instead, maybe trip to New York or something else equally fun. Anything could happen when you're bored enough and have some money in your pocket, I suppose. In the meantime, I need to start packing, since I'll be moving into the party place with Phil and Ilya and Lauren and Camille at the beginning of next month, and I need to get myself situated since mom and dad are moving all of our stuff to York in another month, and I need to straighen out what I'm taking and what I'm not-that should be a trip. Maybe I can convince someone to come over and keep me company while I pack. Anyway, it's been a pretty hectic past few days, I've been trying to get myself together, get things straightened out, and get myself organized, make some positive changes, and I think I've done a pretty good job, to tell you the truth-I haven't been eating fast food at all like I used to do, I don't stop by the grocery store on the way home a million times and buy food and keep it in the fridge, I eat what's at home and that's it, and even though every now and again I might treat myself when I'm out(and that's pretty rare), it's nothing horrible-thursday I treated myself to a sub at Subway, which was delicious and I'd been craving a good sammich for weeks, but I decided against the Philly Cheesesteak Factory which was right next door-and I skipped out on the wendys and the mcdonalds and the burger king and whatnot, which had been good for me lately. Now all I have to do is get my butt to the doctor, get her advice on a real plan of diet and exercise, and ask her about a few things, then we'll make some awesome changes. I really want to get in better shape than I'm in...I'm 22, this should be the beautiful time of my life, right?

Okay, granted, I think I'm being a little paranoid there.

Okay then. I suppose I should go do something useful, I was expecting my phone to ring, but I don't think it's going to, considering it's coming up on 6AM..I guess I wouldn't mind if it did, but eh. I'll see about a few more things and then try to sleep the rest of the morning off. Who knows, maybe I'll stay up and be productive all day?