Saturday 19 March 2001 // 0006 EST

Seeing: Flashing strobes and artificial fog

Hearing: Quivver -- One Last Time

Touching: A pair of white glosticks...that aren't mine

Tasting: the biggest cookie i've ever seen

There's more to this than I probably realize...I've been thinking a lot lately, and ironically enough, not about the things you might assume I was thinking seems that the wonderful things happen when I'm strolling along thinking about completely different things, when my mind is moving not too fast, but fast enough not to rest too much on anything in particular. Things are happening all around me, good things, I think...and I don't completely know how to handle them...I've been out and about, I went out Friday night, I went out Saturday night, and I haven't really spent much time home since break started...I got in this morning at 6AM and slept until 6PM...after perhaps one of the most wonderful nights of my life...

The music, the lights, the people, all of it...everything I looked for in a party, in such an intimate space, but there were still room to dance, to have a good time...water was cheap, and the kids were sweet, the party was alive with love and happiness, and I saw people I haven't seen in ages...Laura, Nina, ::sigh:: I missed you all so. And then...then something came together that probably should have year ago...but I'm glad it's happening now. I'm glad it's working out that means I have something special to do over break, if I'm not all that findable, sorry... ;)

I can see it in her eyes, the way she smiles at me, I can see it in the way she dances with me or the way she insists that I come dancing with her more often, I can see it in the way she plays wit my visor or sticks her tounge out at me...I can feel it in the way she kisses me, the way she leans into my arms when I stop dancing because I'm tired, or the way we lean on each other when we sit against the wall when we're tired...something I've been looking for for a while now, and been upset that I couldn't have for just as long...but I'm being cryptic. I'm happy..very happy. Very VERY happy.

Finally, I found what I was looking for on the dancefloor...I had been looking for so long, wanting to find her on the dancefloor, someone to share the floorspace with, someone who would want to come out with me, someone who would take a massage sitting against the wall, someone who would throw it down with me, someone who could keep up with me...and I did...and you know what? Sometimes you don't always get what you think you want, but if you play your cards right, you always get what you need...and you know what else? Sometimes what you need is really what you wanted all along.

With that, Ultra just took a step up in importance to me...and we're definitely going, it's gonna be an awesome time, and we're gonna rent that damned minivan ASAP...and we're gonna cruise down there, the biggest road trip I've ever taken, and we're gonna have the time of our lives..I'm bringing the cutest recording device you've ever seen which also happens to be one of the best, and we're gonna tear shit up in Miami...

South..just you's been a while since we've met, but you best watch out for phoenix...he's on his way back...with a vengance.