Good news! I'm being considered for 1998 Outstanding Freshman Award....that's a real honor for me. Apparently, although I thought the myriad of issues surrounding me had simmered down a little, btu apparently not. Tensions are still running at a bit more than low...call it a yellow alert or sorts. Personally, I'm at condition green, all systems normal, although my propulsion systems(my legs, more specifically my knees) are undergoing repairs that seem to be going smoothly(they feel a lot better). Anyway, I'm off to bed. Astronomy Midterm tomorrow, Body and Literature presentation tomorrow, interview tomorrow....well, I won't be any good if I don't sleep, so good night all. We'll rock this puppy in the morning.
17 March 1998 - All systems normal. Alan got all his scores back from all of those silly exams and things that he took last week. Alan's taking this university to the HOLE! Sorry, I'm looking to another high GPA this semester, and I'm happy to announce that I'm really happy. Spring break is in a few days, and all I have to do is finish this silly little C Program, and everything will be cool. Not much to report, just updating for the sake of updating. Like I said, All systems normal.
18 March 1998 - Thoughts for today....walked past a religious moron standing outside of the Stamp Student Union screaming his head off trying to persuade everyone that they'd all go to hell without his help. Silly people....people like him give religion a bad name. Natural high at the radio show tonight, for anyone who was there, then you'll definitely know about it. Otherwise everything is wonderful in Alan land, and I'm very happy. Spring Break, here I come! I finished my paper, and I'm finishing my C Program.....everything is going my way. Now all I have to do is go home and wade through a weekend of high school drama.....OM, WL, LR, whereever.....whatever, you'll all see me there.
1 April 1998 - April Fool's Day. Feh. Spring break was....lukewarm. Very relaxing in some respects, and devestating in others. I'm sad that I didn't hear from too many people over break, I know I didn't exactly reach out and touch anyone myself, but I got the feeling that noone wanted to really see me, so I just figured that it'd be best if I stayed out of people's way. I have to say, though, that break was a nice opportunity to get away from all the rigors and troubles of college life, but now that I'm back, I don't know if I miss it or if I'm still getting over some of the more destructive parts of it. Everything is okay for the moment, you know, I'm being a good Alan and dealing with things, but they have the potential to flare up at any moment, and I can't safely say that life is really wonderful right now. I suppose it's happy and livable, but I can't say that everything is peaches and cream. If you know what's going down, then you know, if not, I probably shouldn't tell you. Didn't get the slot in Queen Anne's Hall, but that's okay, I'll be somewhere else, no problem. I shrunk the grpahic on the front page so everything's tidier now for all my AOL friends, and it's easier to view with browsers other than Netscape. User friendly, you know me. Anyway, The sun is shining(not right now because it's night) and the weather is looking up....at least until the little cold snap we're supposed to get this week, but everything is nice and it's helping my mood, going around with my shades trying to feel good about myself....self-esteem, that's the ticket. Anyway, I was 20 minutes late to my first class yesterday because of lack of sleep, I'll get some now. Tomorrow.
2 April 1998 - Got up way too early, but too late at the same time. Was late to my first class by about 5 minutes, but it's okay. Today, although my eyes were puffy for half of the morning, and I wasn't feeling too well, was an actually good day. I found out that I got the 1998 Oustanding Freshman Award, along with 4 other students....there's going to be a ceremony and everything.....you can imagine how that affected my day-but as soon as I got out of class, I went back to my room, surfed the net, checked my email, and crashed in my bed until about 8PM. I went to sleep about 5PM.....missed dinner. No matter, that's what late-night is for. I have to say, though, that there's a part of my life that I'm really pessimistic about....I feel alone and uncared for, and I don't really know what to think or do about it. I suppose the question is: What do you do when actions speak so much louder than words?
That's the question that I'm going to answer...whether I want to know the answer or not....I have to. If I ever plan on being happy again, then I have to know-and I have to get this resolved. Soon. Damn. My life got real interesting really quickly, didn't it?