|
18 February 1998 - I finally got this page up and working. It's blossoming faster than I expected, but I'm working slower as the night goes on....I think I'll finish up everything that I planned on doing tomorrow....it's 1:41 AM, and I should sleep, I have to be up at 8 this morning......good night all. 19 February 1998 - Barely. It's only 12:07, but no way in hell am I staying up that late again. I miss Katie. Just thought I should share. So now that the social circle that has formed so far on campus here is beginning to fall apart-without any help from me, I might add, I'm actually feeling a little excluded. Not because I've taken a side, like normally, but because I HAVEN'T taken sides. Odd isn't it? Anyway, Tim and I are doing fine, although Tim and a lot of other people aren't. I don't know which is worse: Tim's attitude and compulsive desire to intrude where he's not wanted(which can be a good thing depending on the circumstances, but so far......nuh uh.) and make other people's lives living hells in their "best interest" or everyone else's childish desire to make him pay with his ego for it. It's like they've formed the "kick the shit out of Tim" club and act like little children; although I have to admit that I don't agree with what he did-I also don't agree with the reaction everyone is taking to it. Alas, my opinion in the matter isn't going to count for much, and just might get me in deep shit with everyone, but what the hell....I might as well be open about it. Well, I'm thinking desperately about what should be on this webpage, and I think that the only things I'll want to add are maybe a photo gallery, the promised Katie shrine, and some stuff in the poetry and prose section. I'll probably include more links to places as I find them, hopefully some music should be coming, and then this'll rock. If i get too many links, then I'll make the links a separate page....that might be a good idea. I think I'll change the photo at the bottom of the page every week....that'll be a nice addition. If anyone actually reads this, I hope they remind me to change it.....I might forget. Anyway, I'm sleepy, and I think I'll dpeart for dreamland for the night......but not before a refreshing game of Quake! 20 February 1998 - I'm going to bed early tonight. I have a calculus exam tomorrow, wishe me luck. Anyways, today was kind of toned down, except I still didn't get a nap, but I did, however, get a lot of work done. You know, I'd like it if these entries got a lot more philosphical, you know, like Doogie Howser's journal, you know? Anyway...things are very quiet on the Alan front, perhaps that's why I've been so poetically uninspired. On other fronts, however, things have been quite stormy....and the storm is still brewing. I don't think that we've even reached the eye of the storm to try and ride out the other side....this is only going to get worse......good night. 24 February 1998 - Went home for the weekend. Had a really bad experience at work.....bastards.....accusing me-anyways. I quit. I'm now jobless, but I'm happy, since I get to spend a lot more time at school with friends, and when I decide to go home and see Katie, then I'll really get to see her. And her page on this stie is coming soon, so don't think you can escape it. I just have to get down on paper what she wants on it, other than pictures of her, I and a link to the page that has her poetry on it. Anyways, good luck to the Hammond crew, who are performing "Anything Goes" at Hammond High School, opening on Friday, 28 February. Break a leg, you guys. Well, I think that the situation on campus is getting mellower, if not better.......because it's not getting better.....and I think that a lot of people have the wrong motivations regarding their choices......you know who you are.....but anyway, things will be getting interesting here really fast....schoolwork has me bogged down, but I'm surviving. Not much to report....all's quiet on the Alan front.....sorta. 27 February 1998 - This is great. Just great. Spent the day yesterday and today doing very silly things with this technological wonder called ICQ and being insane in the membrane. "Anything Goes" opens tonight. Break a leg all you 20s guys and chicks.....hope it doesn't pull a "Titanic." I mean, I hope is succeeds, but I don't hope you'll little boat sinks. You know what I mean....it's like giving a man a fish and teaching him to....swim.....or something. Anyway. I just got THE MOST HILARIOUS EMAIL from KATHY BRENNEN that pretty much sums up my feelings about the movie "Titanic." Read it, it had me rolling. Anyways, I'll probably some back with more updates later, but until then, that's the way it is. 28 February 1998 - Captain's Log, supplemental. I'm having trouble with the "v" key. I think it's time for a keyboard cleaning. Anyway, Today was interesting, to say the least....I spent most of the day alone, although everyone claims to have been at one place or the other. No one ever tells me anything, so I just came back to my room and got some much needed work done, including some stuff for this page. I think I finished the newletter layout that I was supposed to do....tomorrow will reveal the answers to that mystery. Anyway, I'll have to do something interesting tomorrow, although movies are definitely on the agenda....if I can get out of bed. Until tomorrow, peekers into my life........or later...since it is tommorrow.... 10 March 1998 - Okay. Phase Two online. It's rolling, it's rocking. It's fucking awesome. Anyway, so many updates I can't count, so it's rocking wild now...and I'll keep fiddling with it. Anyway, too much to catch up on, but must make a few major points. I love my Katie with all my heart, and she means everything to me, and nothing oh nothing that anyone can do will bring us apart. Tim and I are groovin as we speak, and our friendship, in spite of other events around us, is strengthing in a way we hadn't thought possible since before 14 months ago, and otherwise things are relatively stable, now anyway. I'm wearing knee braces to support my knees, and I need to get my ass up and run around the track at the new rec center once in a while if Iwant them to get any better. Anyway, It's early, and I have a Calc exam soon. Night folks. I'll hopefully be up with this page more often now......trying to get things done...so much to do......alack, alas........ 11 March 1998 - The wind blew today and the temperature dropped....not a normal breezy wind that you can hold your head up to, but a cutting, chilling wind that slices through your clothes and chills your skin to the bone. Makes you want to stay indoors and not go to classes, but unfortunately Alan spent the whole day proving to himself anf the world that nothing's gonna keep him down, and it's only going to get worse tomorrow. First I proved to myself that I wasn't sick, and then I proved to the world that it doesn't matter when I get to my C Programming Lab, it doesn't matter, you don't learn anything, then I proved to the world that I was the Calculus God, and then I proved that I could sleep an hour, work on Thirteen stuff, update my page, do a radio show and attempt to attend a ResLife program all in one night, and still get to bed early. Damn skippy. I'm the MAN. Anyway, as soon as this week is over, everything will be so peaches and cream that I won't even know it..... 17 March 1998 - All systems normal. Alan got all his scores back from all of those silly exams and things that he took last week. Alan's taking this university to the HOLE! Sorry, I'm looking to another high GPA this semester, and I'm happy to announce that I'm really happy. Spring break is in a few days, and all I have to do is finish this silly little C Program, and everything will be cool. Not much to report, just updating for the sake of updating. Like I said, All systems normal. 18 March 1998 - Thoughts for today....walked past a religious moron standing outside of the Stamp Student Union screaming his head off trying to persuade everyone that they'd all go to hell without his help. Silly people....people like him give religion a bad name. Natural high at the radio show tonight, for anyone who was there, then you'll definitely know about it. Otherwise everything is wonderful in Alan land, and I'm very happy. Spring Break, here I come! I finished my paper, and I'm finishing my C Program.....everything is going my way. Now all I have to do is go home and wade through a weekend of high school drama.....OM, WL, LR, whereever.....whatever, you'll all see me there. 1 April 1998 - April Fool's Day. Feh. Spring break was....lukewarm. Very relaxing in some respects, and devestating in others. I'm sad that I didn't hear from too many people over break, I know I didn't exactly reach out and touch anyone myself, but I got the feeling that noone wanted to really see me, so I just figured that it'd be best if I stayed out of people's way. I have to say, though, that break was a nice opportunity to get away from all the rigors and troubles of college life, but now that I'm back, I don't know if I miss it or if I'm still getting over some of the more destructive parts of it. Everything is okay for the moment, you know, I'm being a good Alan and dealing with things, but they have the potential to flare up at any moment, and I can't safely say that life is really wonderful right now. I suppose it's happy and livable, but I can't say that everything is peaches and cream. If you know what's going down, then you know, if not, I probably shouldn't tell you. Didn't get the slot in Queen Anne's Hall, but that's okay, I'll be somewhere else, no problem. I shrunk the grpahic on the front page so everything's tidier now for all my AOL friends, and it's easier to view with browsers other than Netscape. User friendly, you know me. Anyway, The sun is shining(not right now because it's night) and the weather is looking up....at least until the little cold snap we're supposed to get this week, but everything is nice and it's helping my mood, going around with my shades trying to feel good about myself....self-esteem, that's the ticket. Anyway, I was 20 minutes late to my first class yesterday because of lack of sleep, I'll get some now. Tomorrow. 2 April 1998 - Got up way too early, but too late at the same time. Was late to my first class by about 5 minutes, but it's okay. Today, although my eyes were puffy for half of the morning, and I wasn't feeling too well, was an actually good day. I found out that I got the 1998 Oustanding Freshman Award, along with 4 other students....there's going to be a ceremony and everything.....you can imagine how that affected my day-but as soon as I got out of class, I went back to my room, surfed the net, checked my email, and crashed in my bed until about 8PM. I went to sleep about 5PM.....missed dinner. No matter, that's what late-night is for. I have to say, though, that there's a part of my life that I'm really pessimistic about....I feel alone and uncared for, and I don't really know what to think or do about it. I suppose the question is: What do you do when actions speak so much louder than words? |