sweet and bitter

Posted on Tuesday 21 October 2008

sense :: smell // steeping black tea

The most irritating thing about working late in the evening is that I’m expected to essentially work from home in the morning as well. It’s kind of like putting in a 13-hour day, only my managers like to fool themselves into thinking it’s less than work because I’m at home for the first half of the day and then come into the office. Alas.

It’s come to my attention recently that a number of people that I at least used to read or be familiar with are absolutely incapable of blogging or posting their thoughts online without being incessantly or irritatingly preachy. You know what I mean: the people who simply can’t discuss an event in their lives or in the world without turning it into a story that has a moral that they already know but feel absolutely compelled to hammer into you like so much congressman into the call girl of their choosing.

I would be worried about discussing such in public, but frankly, the offending writers of this variety are usually busier crafting their next epic fable or personally authored book of psalms than they are actually engaging, reading, and talking to people on the Web, so I don’t really think I have too much to worry about on this front. It’s not that there aren’t lessons to be learned from the experiences that people go through, but I’m something of a follower of the “show me, don’t tell me,” method of writing. If you write it properly, people won’t know they’ve learned anything about themselves at all until they’re ready to comment on what you’ve written, or weeks later when they tell their loved one “I read someone who had the strangest experience…”

Shoot me if I become one of those folks, okay?

In other, but somewhat related news, another birthday has come and gone and I’m a year older. My parents dropped by to spend a little time with us over last weekend, and they asked me how it felt to be a year older. Everyone gets the question on their birthday, and I explained that it felt like yesterday, except now I’m a year older.

Upon reflection, I cant help but wonder when I’m going to actually get started. I had a long talk with my mother about potentially moving to Seattle, something I’ve always wanted to do, and while I know she and my father are distressed at the notion of my moving so far away, I’m desperately eager to start what I like to think of as my life, meaning doing something I want to do in a place I want to do it in. Veronica provided some incredible insight in a comment to my last post that struck a chord:

Being happy is the best thing you can do for yourself. But it doesn’t come over night. Plan the escape. Maybe give yourself a year to downsize, reload, rework, especially in today’s world.

This is a radical shift from what I was thinking – I had already thought of how many types of freelancing gigs I’d need to make what I’m making now, but I dreamt of getting it all lined up and then walking into the day job one day with a letter in an envelope and a middle-finger standing by at the ready – me, poised on the brink, absolutely terrified but feeling liberated at the notion of embarking on my life. But there’s more to it than that, and I know it. As rewarding as it might be to tell my boss to shove off, getting to that point (and then not actually doing it) will require planning and savvy. I’ve got it in me, I just can’t be distracted by the roller-coaster ride of idiocy that is the day-to-day at the regular gig.

So for my birthday, I’m giving myself a shiny new new sense of destiny. It’ll go well with the computer I’m building for the holidays.

Ah, and before I forget. I managed to fix Photowerks so the photos actually load now. Go and see if you like. Now I have to make myself upload everything I’ve taken since finding out it was broken.

1 Comment for 'sweet and bitter'

    October 30, 2008 | 3:44 pm

    You’re blogging again 🙂 Wonderful.

    “So for my birthday, I’m giving myself a shiny new new sense of destiny” – love it.

    BTW, not sure I mentioned it before but I love that panda photo. MeiMei took her panda to “sharing” (=show and tell) for the letter C (he is Cute and from China).

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